Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Amazon Wednesday finds a gold mine

So I'm back. Sort of. It's slowed considerably at the restaurant and I'm catching my breath. Helping to open a restaurant, I guess, is much like trying to read Dickens' The Pickwick Papers. Tiring, but certainly fulfilling. I would very much like to write a long entry about what I enjoyed most about the book—the Wellerisms, Mr. Jingle and "the fat boy"—but I'm afraid I haven't the time right now. I can assure you it was a fantastic book, however. There were times when I wanted to toss it into the street, but that goes with the territory. Anyone who has read an 800-page book knows such pain (and speaking of big ones, this is a fantastic article about the books that hold us captive).

I only found one person who talked smack about Pickwick, who is a most genial and intelligent and gentlemanly fellow. Because I wanted to celebrate Dickens on this Amazon Wednesday—having missed several weeks—I decided to look up a couple of his other titles and settled on Great Expectations. Oh, what the Dickens did I find? A gawdamm gold mine.

Turns out people have some unfavorable opinions of The Great Expectations. I'll admit that the plot is contrived and when I read it years ago I hated it and even a reread recently left me under-whelmed. But in no way would I say it was completely terrible or worthless. And the more I read Dickens the more I think maybe I will appreciate the book that much more years from now when I inevitably read it again.

Anyway, enough of this piffle. Let's dig in to some Amazon Wednesday.



2 of 26 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars Vapid and superficial, July 19, 2001
This review is from: The Pickwick Papers (Penguin Classics) (Paperback)
Being a Dickens fan, and having read all of the other Amazon reviews, buying this book was a no-brainer for me.

Unforunately, the work is TOTALLY lacking in depth. All the characters are completely two-dimensional, if not one-dimenional: they lack development and in no way resemble real people with real emotions, desires, fears, etc - they are mere caricatures. Worse, the plotline wanders aimlessly. Certain passages do evoke chuckles, but the great majority of the writing is lifeless and indeed boring.

This is the work of a very young Dickens, and it shows. At this point in his life, his writing skills had simply not yet evolved very far. The 700+ page novel is simply undistunguised and totally forgettable. I would HIGHLY recommend any of Dickens' more famous works (most notably Great Expectations), but this one is a waste of time. Do not let others lead you astray.


What does "being a Dickens fan" entail? Is there a club for that? Aptly named Pickwick, I'd think? Or does it mean they have visited his house or grave? I am a fan of internet porn, but I don't write retarded reviews under videos.


6 of 15 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars Looks like a reject book., April 26, 2008
Pages are all different size and roughly cut. A bit rubbish, really. This is not a reflection on the narative, which of course is well reviewed in general.


Yeah, and there were words. Lots of fucking words. It was overwhelming. It was like Dickens wanted me to read them. But I read them anyway, because, of course, it was well-reviewed.


10 of 26 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars What A Wonderful Cure For Insomnia!, February 20, 2006
I was forced to read this book in my English class this year, and I almost died. For a more thrilling read, try a dictionary or a phone book.


It put you to sleep? I'm done snorting Ambien.


0 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars Bob Foofoo's Constructive cuisine corner, June 11, 2000
By A Customer
On my home planet of Mars, books that we do not enjoy, we refer to as lunch. We had "Great Expectations" before the matinee last week. The matinee was "Smoky the Cowhorse." It was Martian Thanksgiving, so "Awful (great (yeah right!)) Expectations" was a good choice, because it is so freakin' long, and low in cholesterol. I am on a strictly bad classics diet. The Martian Major Leagues starts today, so I grilled a warthog.

One of the reasons that I found this book (in terms of literature, not food) so disturbing is because the Martian term for a hemmohroid is a pip. In terms of food, it could have used a bit more seasoning, like a trip to Denmark. Of course, they didn't actually go to Denmark. If instead of being named "Magwitch" the convict had been called Bozo the Clown, and gave Pip balloon animals instead of money, I would have enjoyed the book much more.

But, the thing that ticked me off the most (and Auntie, too!) was the way that Dickens never ended his sentences: instead, he just ran them on and on and on and on and punctuated them only with commas and semicolons, as if to say, "this is my book, feel free to fall asleep; or, you could eat it": that reminds me of a very funny story about a man named "Kitty"...

WHACK!

(Auntie just hit me over my other head with a frying pan). The truth is... the only good part about this book is when Miss Havisham (the Martian) gets married to Pip. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! HA.

Ha.


Whatever acid you're taking, please give me your dealer's phone number.


0 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars i'll sum this book up for you in four words..., February 15, 1999
By A Customer
TOO LONG, IT SUCKED!!


That's what she said! God, I hate myself.


1.0 out of 5 stars Do not read this book!, May 11, 2011
This review is from: Great Expectations (Paperback)
To start this book is so dry it could catch on fire. Also description in the book, ha there is none to be spoken of. This book has been called Charles Dickens greatest novel, not even close, save your time, and money for buying a better book.


So dry it could catch on fire? That's not that good of a joke. How bout "It's so dry we have a surplus of vermouth." Let's call it a work in progress.


1 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars It ..., March 6, 2001
I can't understand how anyone can stand to read this dribble. A "Book" consisting of 50 pages of people standing around talking reads more like a court transcript than a "great novel." If you own this book, burn it.


Easy, Hitler. Ah, Nazi jokes are always funny.


0 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars Overrated, worthless, and so very boring, March 29, 2001
This book reminds me of algebra, its boring, time-consuming, worthless, and you will never have to use this in your whole life. Never! So when you're teacher asks you to read this book, don't do it. Read the Cliff Notes or watch the Wishbone version.


Yeah, if you're teacher asks you to read you're books, your not obligated to do it. Your never going to need any of this, your right about that. Ryan, you're mother sure didn't raise no fool, nohow.

0 comments: